I have been flummoxed and boggled by Google. I freely admit I am no computer genius. More to the point, I freely admit to being barely computer literate. I am happy that I can turn my machines on (both the Apple laptop and the PC desktop, she bragged) and have learned to use the Word Program enough that my computer truly is more convenient than a typewriter for writing.
After four years of doodling, I find myself with a copious backlog of essays, articles, compilations, or columns (pick the appellation of your choice, I prefer scribbles) that I had no idea what to do with now. Most of them were published at one time under the heading of Appel Slices in a local paper; I guess that makes them qualify as used. Since I’ve never heard of anyone in the market for second-hand, small-town, observationally inspired copy of dubious merit, I had almost reconciled myself to nothing but permanent storage for my efforts when a friend (and I use the word loosely at this point) suggested blogging.
I respect this so-called friend and let that respect blind me to the fact that this was an easy toss-off suggestion for him because the man is a computer wizard. In this state of blind faith—faith that I could handle it if he suggested it to me—I blithely sallied forth into the first website I found that offered free blogs. Hey, at least I got the right price. I mean if you are entering the land of trials and frustrations, at least the cost shouldn’t add to the pain.
After four hours I had the bones of a blog set up I felt I could live with. I had a title that made me happy; just a tweak off from the name of my newspaper column—respelled Appel Slyces. I was happy with the template, the color I had chosen for the background, the font and color of the text of the body, the text font and color on the header, the borders, and a dozen other so-ons and so-forths. So, I ventured on to the next step—posting.
I scanned through my old columns and decided to start the blog with the two columns that I had started my short newspaper career with. After all, they had been lucky for me then, maybe their mojo hadn’t been exhausted and they would come through for me again. It was worth a try and I didn’t have a reason that sounded any better to me for choosing any of the others. When I am faced with a decision, superstition usually trumps logic.
After a last minute check and a satisfied sigh, I sent the address of my blog out to a select group of friends whose critiquing abilities I trust and asked for any suggestions they may have to improve my presentation. The proposals poured in, all two of them. They were both really good, thoughtful suggestions that I leapt to enact. Double-space between paragraphs, Bob said, the program seldom accepts indents and the extra space will make the pieces easier to read. Well, that explains the thirty-minutes of my life I’ll never get back spent grappling with expectations vs Google settings. I did discover a very important thing about myself though, I must repeat the same actions three times sequentially before I will accept what I’m doing will not work.
The second suggestion I received was an improvement for my banner. Wouldn’t it look better with a picture of an apple, possibly with a few slices lying next to it? Super, I thought. So I immediately began searching the web for the perfect apple picture. Do you have any idea how many pictures of apples have been uploaded to the web? Is it just me, or do they really all look alike after the first 45 seconds? Barring the complexities of my chosen fruit I did find what I felt was the perfect apple picture, after about three hours, that had its jpg designation attached and looked as though I may be able to transfer it.
My fingers flew as I powered back to my blog to add the picture to the header. I found the “edit the header” page and followed the directions to the letter, and then checked the blog to see the update. No picture. I did it all again. No picture. Okay, third time’s the charm. No picture. Fourth time . . . tried downloading the picture to My Documents and call it from there, no picture. Fifth time . . . moved the picture to My Pictures and tried again, no picture. Sixth time, seventh time . . . eleventeenth time and never, no, not ever, a picture. Totally bummed and frustrated unto screaming I typed my woes into Google Search. Aha, an answer, but they have to be kidding. They give instructions for changing the code to the blog website that controls the header.
Change the code? Who do they think I am? Bill Gates?! Tell you what, check out my blog . . . the one without the picture.
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2 comments:
Oh, Cynthia! You're as funny as ever! I hadn't read those columns. My fellow blog readers should know that the only part of the local rag that Cynthia's column once graced that I read was hers. (What a sentence! Better go back to the writing group.) I look forward to reading your posts. I think I signed up for them to be sent to me, but I don't know. I clicked something. You can also look at my blog, which is on a site called sandy nathan dot com. I'm writing it that way because I have spam filter you would not believe, necessitated by the really, really bad spam I kept getting. Now, no one can comment on my blog, but I don't have to look at that stuff. There's a button on my site that goes to my blog. I write what I feel like on it, none of this, "Why don't you sell your book on it? That's the place to do it," that those in the world of book marketing will attempt to get you to do. Anyway, you will love having a blog. Congratulations on getting through the enormous strain and intellectual burden that mastering anything on-line requires. I always advise hiring a 12 year old to do web related stuff. Babies are now launched into the universe with fully functional computer skills. Part of their operating systems. You go, Appel woman!
Nice blog, Ms. Appel.
Now the world will know the lady who cracks me up. I mean that in good way.
I'm with Sandy--you go, girl!
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